JOKES XD

You: What's wrong with me?!
Friend: Oh wow, where do I begin....

Dog: I offer my master a toy as a token of friendship, and what does he do? He freaking throws it!

Teacher: Hey you! Whats the answer?
Me: Who, me?
Teacher: yes, you!
Me: Did you see me lift up my hand?!?!

This is how my week goes:
Moooooooooonday
Tuuuuuuuuuuesday
Weeeeeeeeeednesday
Thuuuuuuuuuursday
FridaySaturdaySunday

Kid: Mom can I wear a mini skirt?
Mom: NO!
Kid: How about lipstick?
Mom: NO!
Kid: But mom! I'm 18!!
Mom: I know John, I know....

I don't need anger management.....I need people to stop bothering me -_-

Some jokes :P

Kid: Mommy Mommy! the closet in my room fell down!!!!
Mom: Go tell Daddy he can fix it
Kid he knows! he is UNDER IT!!!!!!!!!!


A kid comes in to the classroom and asks the teacher a question:

Tommy: Can I ask you a question?

Teacher of course! why not?

Tommy: would you blame someone if they didn't do something?

Teacher: of course not!

Tommy: well then.... I didn't do my homework 

LOL :) comment if you like!

HOW DOES SHE DO IT????

Dear Dora, 

You have been 5 years old for 11 years now....

What's you're secret??

Sincerely, Amazed 




If you know how .....Then PLEASE TELL ME


( my friend showed me these here is her blog! http://epicstuff-kbrocks.blogspot.ca/2012_01_01_archive.html  you should check it out!)

Jokes for fun

What do I do when I see someone gorgeous?
I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.... I put down the mirror!

Guy 1: Dude I wasn't that drunk!
Guy 2: You cut up all my pineapples yelling " Spongebob I know your there!! "

Guy 1: Dude I wasn't that drunk!
Guy 2: You grabbed a squirrel and threw it in my pool yelling " Sandy, Bikini Bottom needs you! "

(My friend showed it to me!)

B) Im just that awesome! :)

so thats what you do to a new car.....

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"

Scaaaaaaaryyyyy

One day Sally was busy cooking but then the phone rang so she picked it up "Sally the viper is coming for you" an eerie voice said then Sally thought it was a prank call so she ignored it but the next day she got a phone call again and the eerie voice said"Sally the viper is coming for you.... Soon" so sally got scared she started shaking then the next day she heard the phone she was so scared that she was shaking and picked up the phone then the eerie voice said "Sally the viper is coming for you..... Tomorrow" Sally couldn't sleep nor eat the next day she was siting on th couch when the doorbell rang she was scared she slowly opened the door " Hello Sally!" a man in thin tights said "I am the viper! I am here to vipe you windows"  scary right? Lol